NEED TO KNOW
A man asked if he’d be in the wrong for intentionally scheduling his sister’s baby shower for when her mother-in-law is out of townIn a post on the AITAH subreddit, he explained that his sister has been vocal about how her mother-in-law has treated her during her pregnancyThe brother shared he is trying to do what’s in his “sister’s best interest”
A concerned brother asked if he’d be wrong for intentionally scheduling his sister’s baby shower for when her mother-in-law is out of town.
In a post on the AITAH subredditthe original poster (OP) explained that he, 26, was tapped to plan his 29-year-old sister’s baby shower. He explained that the soon-to-be first-time mom has been “very vocal” about how her mother-in-law has been “mean and rude” to her during the pregnancy.
“She keeps upsetting my sister and even ruined her pregnancy announcement,” he wrote. “Personally, I don’t like her as she has verbally attacked me in the past too for my disability. I can’t imagine how much worse she is to my sister.”
A stock image of a brother comforting his pregnant sister.
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OP shared that his sister has mentioned that she would prefer if her mother-in-law was unable to come to the baby shower.
“She wants it to be stress free. In my opinion: my sister matters the most and her comfort is my top priority,” explained OP, adding, “So when it came to picking dates for the party, I opted for dates in the month where I know (the mother-in-law’s) abroad.”
“I’ve been told that it’s a dick move to not invite her, since it’s her grandchild too,” he continued. “And I understand that, but since I was given the responsibility to plan it, I am the one who makes the decisions and I want to do what’s in my sister’s best interest.”
OP ended his post asking if he’d be in the wrong for opting for a date he knew his sister’s mother-in-law couldn’t attend.
“I really want this to be amazing for my sister and she is my biggest priority,” he wrote. “But I also don’t want to risk her MIL giving her grief for me not inviting her.”
Many people in the reddit community agreed that OP wouldn’t be in the wrong, urging him to focus on his sister having a stress-free day. One user emphasized that the party is solely to celebrate the mother- and baby-to-be.
A stock image of a woman at a baby shower.
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“YWNBTA. The party is to celebrate the mother and baby to be. This isn’t a dick move at all. Its a date that works for everyone except the one person who would make it a goal be ruin the day,” they wrote. “Will her MIL give her grief over this? Yes. Will her MIL give her grief over something else? Yes. Your sister needs to make sure she has strong boundaries with her partner before this baby arrives because MIL is a piece of work.”
Another user shared that they believe the real issue is not “basic etiquette,” but rather the mother-in-law’s history of causing drama.
“NTA. You are planning this party for your SISTER’S comfort, not for the MILs feelings. The real issue here isn’t basic etiquette; its that the MIL has a documented history of verbally attacking you and actively stressed out your sister during her pregnancy announcement by causing drama,” they wrote.
“This isn’t a grandmother being excluded,” they added. “This is a known destabilizing force being temporarily removed for a stress-free event. Your sister needs peace, and you’re prioritizing that. That’s just good planning.”
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