A bride is still second-guessing how she handled a relative breaking her wedding’s dress code.
In a post on Reddit‘s “Am I the A——?” forum, a bride claims that her dress code caused an issue between herself and her cousin who was in her bridal party.
“My husband and I decided to have a child-free white wedding where the guests are in white,” she began her post. “I personally don’t like to wear white because I always feel that no matter what I’m doing something always manages to get me dirty. So, my dress was not white but blue.”
When the bridal party (which consisted of three friends, a 16-year-old niece and a cousin) went shopping for black bridesmaid dresses to match the groomsmen’s suits, problems began to arise. The cousin seemed confused by the niece’s presence and inclusion in the bridal party since she was not 18.
“Cousin said she assumed she was there for a flower girl dress since I’m not inviting anyone under 18 and if I needed another bridesmaid her daughter could do it,” the original poster explained. “I told cousin no, and her daughter is a guest.” Things were awkward for a moment, and the bride took her niece aside to reassure her that her inclusion in the bridal party was not changing.
Three people wearing white outfits (stock image).
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When the bride went shopping for her own dress, she took her family, in-laws and bridesmaids with her. Upon finding the dress that she would wear on her wedding day, the bride claims her cousin said “that I should pick a dress that made me look prettier.”
“I blacked out and said a bunch of things I shouldn’t have, then kicked her out of the bridal party and the wedding,” the bride wrote in her post.
A few days later, however, the bride decided that her cousin could attend the wedding as a guest after a conversation with another family member.
Once her wedding day came, the cousin apparently flipped the switch on the bride as a guest. When she walked down the aisle, “the first thing I see out the corner of my eye is GOLD,” the bride recalled. “My cousin sat in a middle row on the aisle in a gold strapless dress.”
“I wanted to cry but we continued on and once we were finished, I told my wedding planner to have her kicked out and kept away,” she added. The bride concluded her post with mixed feelings about how she should have handled the situation and asked Reddit if she was in the wrong for “throwing my cousin out” for not adhering to the all-white dress code.
Party guests all wearing white (stock image).
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Some Redditors appeared baffled by the restrictive dress code. “I just can’t get past the combination of this narrow dress code and your acknowledgment that it sucks,” one user wrote.
“The whole ‘I don’t like to wear white but expect all my wedding guests to wear it.’ What kind of logic is that?!?” another asked. “Unless I’m in the wedding party, I’m going to wear what I want and already have in my closet.”
Others, however, pointed out that dress codes aren’t uncommon for weddings. “Your cousin decided to blatantly go against it. Let’s be real, she did so in protest of you kicking her out as a bridesmaid originally and it was fueled by her just being petty,” one argued.
“(You’re) NTA (not the a——) for standing your ground and kicking her out. It’s not about wearing the gold dress, it’s about the disrespect she showed you,” they continued.
People wearing gold and black outfits (stock image).
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Some sympathized with the bride for ejecting her cousin. “I mean, if there was a white dress code and someone was in the shiny gold dress shown, they would automatically have your eyes shifted their way!” one user noted. “I understand her kicking her cousin out. She knew what she was doing.”
“But here’s the thing — everyone else complied and her cousin HAD to be SEEN and stand out,” someone else agreed. “Regardless of what you think of the rules, her cousin who was horrendous to her made it about herself.”
“What her cousin did was calculated revenge and disrespectful,” a third person chimed in.
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