A bride has found herself out of harmony with her future mother-in-law after refusing to allow the groom’s sister to sing at her wedding.
The 28-year-old bride detailed the dilemma in a recent post on Redditbeginning by explaining that planning her upcoming big day has been “stressful” but also “rewarding” as she’s watched everything come together according to her vision. However, she shared, she recently “hit a snag” when her fiancé’s mother learned of her intention to hire a local musician to sing the couple’s wedding song.
“My soon-to-be mother-in-law had brought up the idea of my fiancé’s sister singing instead,” she explained, before revealing why she is not particularly keen about the suggestion.
“She has some catchy, self-made jingles but she can barely carry a tune, let alone stay on key,” the bride wrote, adding, “I’ve been dreaming of my wedding since I was a teenage girl, so it’s safe to say I was a little upset that my fiancé had already said yes (to his sister).”
After that, the bride felt obligated to also say “yes” because her fiancé’s family, whom she described as being “fairly wealthy,” is paying for “the majority” of the wedding.
But when she discussed the situation with her bridesmaids and sisters, “they all agreed that I shouldn’t settle because I’m (hopefully) only getting married once.”
So the bride put her foot down and told her future mother-in-law that she was declining the offer to have the groom’s sister sing at the wedding. “She said she understood,” she recalled of their conversation.
Woman singing at a wedding (stock image).
Getty Stock Images
However, a week later, her fiancé’s mother sent her an email which said “she and the rest of the family would not attend unless I changed my mind, and even threatened to revoke some of her payments.”
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
The bride said her fiancé is upset but has assured her that he will back whatever decision she makes about the wedding singer.
“I’m on the fence,” she concluded her post, asking fellow Redditors, “Should I go back on my word and let her sing or stick with my decision?”
Many commenters shared the opinion that the bride was being a bit unreasonable, pointing out that she should be willing to compromise and remember that it’s her fiancé’s wedding too.
“It’s not like you’re marrying yourself — it’s also his wedding. He should be able to have his sister sing if it’s something he wants,” one person wrote. “Your post only talks about how you envisioned your wedding… sounds like he has had zero input and like his input is not wanted. Interesting way to start a marriage.”
Another person commented: “You come off a bit entitled, if you are saying no without considering how your fiancé feels about it.”
Microphone and wedding bouquet (stock image).
Wirestock/Getty
Still, others had a different stance, arguing that the bride’s future mother-in-law was overstepping and being “manipulative” by threatening to pull her funding of the wedding. Some even questioned the groom’s unwillingness to stand up to his mother.
“Your future mother-in-law has absolutely no qualms about using her money to get what she wants. Every single gift will come with strings and obligations,” one person wrote. “Today it’s just a wedding. Tomorrow it may be a house. And then grandchildren.”
The same person continued: “How do you think she is going to be when you and the son that can’t stand up to her have children? This problem goes far beyond his sister singing at your wedding.”
Someone else agreed, writing: “It’s flat-out blackmail, and if you bow to this, every little future argument is going to be, ‘If you don’t do what I say, I’m going to (insert family bombing action here).’ Stand your ground — even if it means the wedding ends up smaller than you intended. It’s YOUR wedding, not your MIL’s.”
GIPHY App Key not set. Please check settings