Husband Whose Spouse of twenty-two Years Kissed One other Man Wonders What to Do Subsequent

A husband is feeling “lost” and unsure what to do about his marriage after his wife kissed another man with whom she has a “secretive” connection.

Seeking “opinions from the ladies,” the man chronicled his situation on community forum Mumsnetexplaining his longtime wife and mother to their three kids is making him feel like a “spare part” in their relationship.

“I discovered my wife of 22 years is messaging another guy — went pretty quickly from just friends to now she’s doubting our whole marriage,” he wrote. “I never properly fulfilled her and we’re on the brink of it all ending.“

“She wants time to sort it in her head but I’m left feeling like I’m a spare part in my own marriage,” he continued. For background I’ve been a pretty good husband (at least that’s what I thought!) — yes a few bits lacking post-kids but is this a reason not to at least try? I’m kinda lost.”

A man walking away from a couple (stock image).

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In the comments section, the husband clarified his wife’s situation.

“They haven’t had sex but have kissed and been very secretive. It’s more on the emotional level at the moment,” he said.

One female reader replied that “the marriage is over.”

“Do not let her stay whilst you play the pick-me dance. Tell her to leave with immediate effect, if necessary arrange alternative accommodation for yourself,” she emphasized. “She believes the grass is greener? Let her go forth and plow it. Protect yourself now, she is not your friend. This is the EXACT same advice I would give to a woman in this situation.”

A man and a woman arguing (stock image).

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Other Mumsnet users tried to describe the mindset of a cheater.

“When a cheat admits to kissing someone else it usually means they’ve gone far further,” one person commented. “She’s a branch swinger — wants to have the next guy secure before leaving the comforts of the marriage, but emotionally she’s already left you, and now it’s all down to whether the other man will commit.”

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