A woman says she’s bucking tradition by choosing a name other than her father-in-law’s for her firstborn son — and now, her husband is upset.
In a post shared to Redditthe woman writes that her husband is Middle Eastern and, in his culture, tradition dictates that “the first born son names their first born son after their father. In this case the name is Ansemoss.”
“I had no idea this was a tradition until after I married my husband,” she continues in the post. “Actually I had no idea this was a tradition until last March when my mother in law put me on the spot in front of her daughters and said that my husband and I decided to name our first born son after her husband.”
When her mother-in-law made the announcement, the woman writes that she was in shock, and replied that the couple hadn’t ever spoken about baby names and was instead focused on getting pregnant in the first place.
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
“She apologized immediately after and said she didn’t care about our kids’ names only that we have healthy children,” the woman writes of her mother-in-law.
But the conversation led to “a huge argument between my husband and I because I felt he was naming our unborn children without me in the room.”
“He denied having any such conversation with his mom,” she writes, but, after nearly a year of IVF treatments, the couple finally did get pregnant, and began to discuss baby names in earnest.
“And sure enough he brought up his father’s name and said it would be right if we named our first son after him because that’s what tradition expects,” she writes.
She continues: “I don’t love the name. I feel like I was robbed of naming my son and I’d be the villain if I don’t go along with it. This is supposed to be a happy time in my life and this name thing is such an issue. Am I overthinking it? Is it the pregnancy hormones making me dramatic or is this a beautiful tradition I should embrace?”
Reddit commenters are showing the woman support, with many arguing that her husband needs to be more open-minded.
“It would definitely be a no from me,” writes one commenter. “As someone who has always thought about my future kids’ names, I would hate to lose out on being able to choose a name I love for my child. I feel like your husband should respect that though, and realize you don’t have to do something just because generations before have done so.”
Adds another commenter: “My husband is middle eastern too and his father did something similar and they all have parts of the father’s name. My MIL compromised by choosing the middle names and then calling all their children by their middle names…I was actually relieved when we had girls because their names are terrible. But I was ready to accept that my baby was going to have a name I didn’t like whether it was the first name or middle name.”
GIPHY App Key not set. Please check settings