The way to Study From Competitors Losses

It’s natural to feel emotionally attached to the final scores of a nonstop competition weekend. But a competition loss doesn’t have to mean that all is lost. “Just because you’ve lost doesn’t mean you’ve failed,” says Lyssa Wopat, a former professional dancer who is now a certified mental performance consultant. And mastering the art of losing gracefully—of turning less-than-ideal competition outcomes into valuable learning experiences—can set you up for success as an industry professional­.

Redefine Success

According to Wopat, normalizing loss is the first step towards building a better competitive mindset. “It helps to go in accept­ing that most of the people at a competition aren’t going to win,” she explains. And not every element that goes into the judges’ decision making is under your control—dance, like any form of art, can be difficult to evaluate objectively.

Instead, Wopat encourages dancers, alongside parents and teachers, to rethink what success means to them, beyond scores. “It could mean improvement in how you danced from the last competition, or learning something useful to implement the next time you compete, or even just feeling really beautiful and strong onstage,” she says. Clearly identifying these expectations beforehand will allow you to stress less about winning, and focus on doing your personal best instead.

Lyssa Wopat. Courtesy Wopat.

Reflect and Restart

In the moment immediately following a loss, Wopat suggests that dancers look inward and validate what they’re experiencing, rather than pushing away unpleasant emotions. “Whether it’s disappointment, anger, or frustration, notice the thoughts and bodily sensations associated with what you’re feeling,” she says. In the hours and days following a loss, focus on self-compassion and reflection. “Recognize the mistakes you made not as proof that you’re a bad dancer, but rather as information you can learn from and take action on,” Wopat says.

Chantel Price, competition director of L’levate Dance in Pennsylvania, prefers to wait a few days after the competition, when emotions are no longer as high, to discuss results with her dancers. “After that discussion, we won’t dwell on it much longer, ” she explains. “The results will always be subjective, so whether they placed how they wanted to or not, we look at all the critiques, figure out how the dancer can apply them, and then—most importantly—move on.”

But do take time to consider what went well. “Often we magnify our mistakes and forget about the positive parts of our performance, but those are also valuable pieces of information,” Wopat says. Parents and teachers can be helpful in pointing out those positive moments, as well as guiding dancers on how to improve any weak spots.

Kayla Cruz. Photo by Elena Mudd, Courtesy Cruz.

Find Perspective

Kayla Cruz, a six-year member and three-year captain of the Brooklyn Nets’ Brooklynettes dance team, credits her years spent competing for the resilience she now relies on in her dance career. “It can be difficult on your ego to think your solo or group dance is the best, and then get to the competition and realize some people might not agree with that,” she says. But persevering through that kind of disappointment is part of the professional dance world, too.

When Cruz first auditioned for the Brooklynettes at 18, she was cut in the first round. “I was devastated,” she says. “But instead of giving in to the feeling of not being good enough, I used that loss to motivate my training for the entire next year.” By the time auditions came around again, she was a stronger dancer—and she made the team. “It’s through failing forward that I’ve grown the most and have been able to fully learn and appreciate what it takes for me to succeed,” she says.

By focusing on opportunities to learn and celebrating their personal visions of success, dancers can build a healthier, more balanced perspective on competition losses. “Going through this process is how dancers learn to face adversity in the real world,” Price says. “I tell my students that the lessons learned will prepare them for the rest of their life.”

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