Jenn Edwards has crafted a multifaceted career: She performs with Le Patin Libre, a contemporary skating company, dances, teaches, and choreographs for gymnasts and dancers, and plays in a band. Though her breadth of work is impressive, she’s also struggled with periods of self-doubt, questioning whether she truly belonged in any of her chosen fields. “Because I’ve hopped around to different disciplines a lot, I sometimes felt like I wasn’t an expert at any one of those things—I was just sort of a fraud at all of them,” she says.
Edwards’ experiences are indicative of impostor syndrome. While the intense doubt and fear associated with this way of thinking can become debilitating, it’s also possible for dancers to change their thought patterns, bolster their confidence, and regain ownership of their craft.
Impostor Syndrome and Dancers
“I would be very surprised if I met with a high-level dancer and they didn’t have some version of this,” says Liv Massey, a mental performance coach and counselor who works with performers and athletes. “Impostor syndrome exists on a spectrum, so some people have a little bit of it and some people are really, really paralyzed by it. But with most dancers I speak with, this is something we talk about.”
Impostor syndrome is a pattern of thinking, says Massey, not a diagnosis. It is characterized by doubting one’s abilities, downplaying achievements, and fearing being exposed as a fraud, she explains. It is common in high-achieving, driven individuals, especially those who are prone to perfectionism. People with high anxiety are also more likely to experience it, as are those who struggle to welcome experiences outside their comfort zone. If you find yourself dwelling on thoughts of inadequacy without also taking into account your hard work and success, you may be experiencing impostor syndrome.
Triggers and Career Effects
Certain events or situations can also prompt those thought patterns, and sometimes they can intersect with other aspects of identity. When Boston Ballet principal Chyrstyn Fentroy first began dancing professionally—and more recently when conversations surrounding diversity, equity, and inclusion took center stage in the ballet world—she struggled with insecurity and fears that she wasn’t worthy. “I wondered if everything that I had accomplished so far was deserved, and I started to really doubt that I had earned it. I assumed that it was the product of some ulterior motive,” she says. “I had people say that I was only getting hired into Boston Ballet because they needed a diversity hire.”
Triggers are individual to each dancer, though there are some commonalities. Often, the higher a dancer climbs in the ranks, the more likely they are to experience doubts surrounding their abilities and aptitude for the position, says Brooke Ewert, a licensed professional counselor who specializes in treating athletes and performers. Additionally, landing a coveted role—or, on the other hand, having a bad audition or performance—can also cause impostor syndrome to flare up. For example, one dancer might feel it most after a promotion because they fear they don’t deserve their new rank, while another might feel it more after being passed over for a role.
If impostor syndrome goes unaddressed, Ewert says, it can hold a dancer back from progressing and reaching their full artistic potential, even if they’re at a top rank. It can even lead them to leave the field. Massey adds that impostor syndrome is also likely to lead to burnout because it gets in the way of the joy and flow state that often accompany performance. “If you constantly feel like you’re going to be exposed and you’re living in this belief system that you’re not good enough, that is not a sustainable way to continue to enjoy what you do,” Massey says.
Healing and Coping
Edwards mined impostor syndrome for creative inspiration, pulling from her self-doubt to choreograph a contemporary dance work, Imposter Syndrome, which debuted at the 2019 Vancouver Fringe Festival. “I think that anytime we take a concept from life and put it into something we’re creating as art, it helps to process that thing and separate you from it,” she says.
Another helpful coping tool, Massey explains, is simply labeling self-deprecating thoughts as impostor syndrome. Doing so can help you recognize that they may not reflect reality. “Instead of thinking ‘I don’t deserve this role,’ reframe it as: ‘I’ve worked really hard for this, and I’m growing with each performance,’ ” says Massey. She adds that leaning on your support system, both inside and outside of the studio, can help as you make these adjustments.
If you’re experiencing impostor syndrome, working with a therapist is helpful, especially if you’re finding that those thoughts are impacting your work and daily life. Fentroy says that attending therapy helped her to develop tools to challenge and reframe her thoughts—and that nursing an injury last season became an unexpected salve for impostor syndrome, too. “I realized that there’s so much to love about your experiences. You don’t want to walk away from this career and be like, ‘I hated myself the entire time and didn’t believe in myself,’ ” she says. “You have to love yourself through the hard things, and loving yourself through the hard things is like reminding yourself that you belong where you are.”
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